4 Benefits To Solitude in Our Spiritual Growth - And Why We Get Addicted To It
“The mind is sharper and cleaner in seclusion and uninterrupted solitude. No big laboratory is needed in which to think. Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences bearing upon us to cripple the creative mind.
Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone; that is when ideas are born.”
Nicola Tesla
Many of us feel uncomfortable with the thought of spending time “alone”.
Now I know it can feel like a scary and unexplored territory…
But I also believe there is a misconception between the feeling of loneliness, being alone and isolating ourselves.
We experience loneliness when there is discomfort in being with our Self. We know so little about our inner world, it just isn’t a very nice company. So we prefer distraction.
I must say I have been on the extreme side of the spectrum though. Where I at some point thought I didn’t need anyone but myself. The ego will find ways to self-sabotage in ways you couldn’t even imagine. It can make you emotionally co-dependent or on the contrary, lead you to isolation and disconnection to other humans.
But let me continue on the note of why spending more time with our Self helps us enormously on our personal-growth journey.
The tall girl with a funny accent
Much of my alone-time started painfully as an outcast in my teenage years.
I had just moved to a foreign country, but it felt like moving to another planet.
Everything from nature, the architecture, people’s appearance, humor, and the language they spoke felt unlike anything little Nina knew.
I learned Spanish after a couple of months in Chile, but I guess that as precautious as my parents are, they went for the safe card; hire a Spanish tutor and place me two years below my actual school year in case it became difficult to catch up. That kinda threw my social life to the ocean.
I guess every story has its reason?
So there I was, the tall 11-year-old giraffe sitting in a classroom with short, younger kids who thought it was a fun idea to pick on my weird accent and unusual height. We had absolutely nothing in common and my days of loneliness began.
My father worked all day, my mother was a busy-bee housewife, there were no children in our neighbourhood and my brother and I had our differences too.
So as natural as it is for humans to want to connect and communicate with their peers, I too, was desperate to feel heard and seen.
I can talk to myself?
It must have been at a young age when I had the biggest realization of my life: -I can speak and maintain a full-length conversation within my own head, and it isn’t something I’d like to escape from.
At first, I thought it was weird. Am I becoming insane?
But the conversations with myself became stronger, wiser, funnier and insightful. I had the ability not only to entertain myself but I could self-sooth in a way that my parents never could, however sad that may sound. Now if that makes me crazy, I must surely be a very happy nut-head.
In my years of experiencing this fantastic relationship with my Self, these are the 4 reasons I’d like to give you to start spending more time with your Self.
1. Self-Awareness
The ancient practice of self-witnessing, without judgment.
In this state, you understand that emotions equal thoughts and that if we can control our thoughts we can control our emotions. In other words, you don’t necessarily identify with every visiting thought, but can witness and see them from afar making the negative ones lose their power over you.
You are indeed in control.
At Hyper Island, I was introduced to a tool that you can use to carry out this self-analysis. It was developed for self-help exercises and to improve the relationship with yourself and with others.
This article explains the Johari Window model well, and I’d encourage you to take a look at it right after reading this article.
2. Problem Solving
With the Johari Window tool I just gave you, you will now have an easier time understanding all sides to a story, analyze your feelings in possible outcomes of decision-making, and perhaps even help your close ones with theirs.
Not to mention how this will benefit your work dynamic.
In having a holistic point of view, your ability for critical thinking just got upgraded.
3. Self-Love
Once you start creating a safe space for self-reflection, something wonderful happens.
The act of choosing to love yourself starts to unfold, and it isn’t just about physical maintenance but how you show up for yourself and how you are aligned with your values, happiness, and desires.
I mentioned self-compassion being the main ingredient for your positive self-talk.
However, I also feel the urge to mention that this is not the act of wallowing in self-pity and justifying destructive behaviors, but it is the ability to feel empathy for yourself, knowing that what you didn’t know back then, you know now.
The experience itself was learning, an opportunity for growth and expansion of your state of being.
In those self-compassionate moments, allow yourself to feel any current state of your emotions.
Because that is the best form of coping. Acknowledging yourself by feeling seen, heard, and letting all the crap out without ever having to suppress it.
4. Creativity
This is a fun one. Perhaps a bit esoteric to some of you, but keep an open mind.
The most creative ideas I’ve thought about have come to me during my solitude practice. Like a parachute with an “ideas” basket, thrown from an airplane. I’ve been laying down, looking up to the sky knowing that by relaxing and observing, something might just fall.
It is also through my meditation practice where those ideas just seem to POP. Even in my dreams, I can sometimes wake up remembering something peculiar that has sparkled and inspired me to take action on that day.
You know when they say; “I got an idea!”
Not “I came up with an idea” or “I found an idea”. But I got an idea.
A wise person I once spoke to told me: “…the best ideas come from the universal network of knowledge. Everything is out there. Let it come to you.”
I hope these benefits of solitude practice have been as insightful for you as it has been for me. Pursue this motivational quest to learn how to love your company, and witness everything else unfold beautifully right in front of you.
Why not make a fancy hotel room reservation for two nights? Bring your favorite book, some candles, incense, and your journal.
And hey, if you’re broke like me: just get your ass out in nature and do the same thing.
Con mucho amor,
Nina
